I never really thought I’d cry over the simplest thing that I could ever think of during this point of my life. I am a medical student and I have been very busy cramming my days and thriving to survive each hour of each day. I have been sensitive and overly emotional, needless to say, I have really been such a huge pack of emoticons that you don’t need to purchase online to express whatever non-existent emotion that you might want to express.
Last week was kind of a huge preparation for me as we were to end a series of semestral lecture with a set of doctor-lecturers. I have this all-time favorite doctor who became an inspiration to me since I saw through her and her clinical knowledge. She has been a very nice and approachable lecturer and yet many of my classmates never even appreciated her the way I did. They have all been wondering why she is my favorite. They never did look deeper.
I look forward to my Wednesdays. It is this time of the week when I get to sit inside the audio visual room, for a little more than hour, just listening and patiently constructing questions in my mind as my favorite doctor-lecturer talks in front of the quiet and sleep-deprived class. It was during Wednesdays that I get to spend the mornings without dozing over long, full-blast traditional lectures. I look forward to Wednesdays knowing that even for quite some time, I’d get to ask about the sub-specialization that I would like to pursue as soon as I get to pass my exam for residential training. I look forward to Wednesdays because it is only when I get to feel really very happy, and inspired.
I kind of prepared so much the morning of that partially warm, partially heart-breaking Wednesday culminating lecture of Microbiology for this semester. I put on a clip (over the left side of my puffy and non-cooperative hair), practiced the way I’d ask my favorite doctor-lecturer for a very humble photo that I’d like to have with her. It was the last day of lecture for our section and even though she won’t be leaving the college any time soon (or maybe even longer), it was just about the right time to ask for that small pose and smile to keep for a lifetime. The day started right and I never even expected it to be a “shine-bright-like-a-diamond” moment for me, for the last lecture of Microbiology with my favorite doctor-lecturer. Though I seem to have been a technical person on duty that time, it really did not matter. It was one of the very few moments I have spent my Wednesdays feeling like the class beadle. Thanks to my lovely Simba, my MacBook Pro which I learned to navigate through the year of having to harass it for medical school requirements. It was like a breeze of air and the lecture ended. Only a few realized that it will be our last lecture with her, and with my very unexpected uncontrollable mouth, I blurted out the request that I have been wanting to ask. That photo. I kind of expected that she won’t say yes immediately. I took the hesitation in a positive way thinking that I would be able to ask again later the day. To make the longest story of the day short, it did not happen. I was feeling very frustrated for the first time, it was for the first time since it was a different kind of frustration for me. I really really really (exponentially) wanted that photo with my favorite doctor-lecturer but I failed to ask.
My classmates realized the fact too late that they also wished they asked her for the same thing. A photo. Maybe even with the whole class. I felt like I was not the only one frustrated.
I cried. It was that Thursday lunch time when I felt totally hurt-locked by the day, the week, the time, by almost everything. Few of those who truly understand me about how I really see my favorite doctor-lecturer as one of my main inspirations for medical school did not see it as something that is so small. All those people who never even appreciated her for the same reasons that I did, they were all able to have a photo with her the previous partially warm, partially frustrating Wednesday for me. She finally said yes to them. I WAS BADLY FRUSTRATED. I initiated that idea and I was not the one to have a solo picture with my favorite doctor-lecturer. I cried. I cried to the point that my eyes went turtle-puffy and my nose went Rudolf-the-red-nosed-reindeer. I cried. I wanted a photo with her, I did not get it, they had it, I cried. That feeling, this heart-breaking feeling. THIS.
I cannot always get what I want. But I know that if I try sometimes, I would eventually, maybe get it the second time around. My “creys” were not wasted as I have with me very supportive friends who would push and do everything they could just so I could have that photo with Dra next week, after our shifting examinations for Microbiology. It would not be so bad if I’d prepare so much again, yes? I know this time, I would not have another speck of pepper over my left eye. I cannot wait for the coming Wednesday. I would always love Wednesdays.
3rd 16th birthday? Go figure.
Today is the 20th of August 2012, and today is the special day of a very amazing, normal friend. As much as I want to elaborate on our meaning of what normal is, no matter how hard I try, I know it’s beyond words. Ha ha ha! We both understand what this means. =))
Meet Jassy Mary. She was my Comparative Anatomy laboratory professor, was my Cell & Molecular Biology laboratory professor.
Today is the 20th of August 2012, and today is her birthday.
Closely examine the pout as I, too, was amazed.
I did this once. Behold, the very normal self.
I don’t think the introduction was necessary, especially for those who have known the both of us since our days in the university. Ate Jas and I have been great friends since who-knows-how-long already. We have a lot in common, but we are different in tons of ways that nobody can ever explain. It was just so magnificent, the fact that we get along really well. It was not a “blink of an eye” thing, but, it was more of a splendid discovery.
Well you don’t have any idea how hard it was to get this photo during that day. :))
In Ate Jassy, I found a lot of whos and whats and what have you. One that’s worth mentioning is being my chat-buddy. Dynamic chatterer, should I say?
Actually, what I really want to point out here is that I never met anyone else who has the extreme capability to talk
so fast, really fast, most especially when she’s excited, and/or too happy. But hey, it’s one of the simplest things that I’m sure will always be appreciated and loved by the people around her. Long hours of talks with Ate Jas always end up filled with laughter, and sometimes genuine reflection.
Kidding aside, what I really found in Ate Jas is someone that I can never compare to anyone else. I found a friend who offers genuine closeness, I found an extra ear, a
very petite (but warm) source of hugs, I found a human-box of laughter, a human-bucket full of inspiring words. I found a food-buddy who loves to Wendys-, Kennys-, BK-, *insert more restos here* together. I found someone weirder than I already am, this someone who is willing to try that bungee jump adventure with me on a hot, very, very random day.
Anyway, I just really want to say that Ate Jas is one of the greatest blessings that I’ll always be thankful for…that sister I never had by blood, but I now have by heart.
You see? I still love her to bits even though she is currently possessed by some Korean soul who does not have any plans of leaving her body whatsoeverrr. :))
I hope to enjoy more days of being in our very, very normal selves, Ate Jas. I will never get tired of spending tons of hours with you, looking for crazy, random, adventures for a day or two. So, bungee jumping na soon?
Well, we both don’t seem to agree. Bungee jumping thing? :))
It is still the 20th of August 2012, and today is my very great
"normal" friend, all-time weirdest-like-me sister’s 3rd 16th birthday. Why? Go figure.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ATE JAS! ♥ :))
"Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come…let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come…" ~The Wonder Years
It’s 9:53 PM. More than one month in med school.
Today is July 14, 2012. And today, I feel like I already belong.
Meet Romi, Shierline, and Clang. I have been with these ladies for the past few days, and they have been w/ each other for weeks. In short, ako ang pinaka-last na sumama sa kanila. To tell you honestly, di ko na naisip na magkakaroon pa ako ng almost permanent circle. Yun tipong consistent na lagi kong makakasama araw-araw. Siguro naisip ko yun dahil matanda na kami at di na bagay maging masyadong attached sa isa’t isa? And probably because of the fact that we already have close-to-family friends existing even before we entered medical school. Tapos, nasa same school din naman sila, just in different sections. I thought I’d be w/ different classmates sa bawat araw. But I guess I can now say I’m wrong.
The very moment na sinama nila ako, I already know deep down na araw-araw ko na silang gustong kasama. Shoot, clingy. Pero iba talaga. I want them around me, literally and figuratively speaking. I hug them everyday, and I hug them almost every hour, basta may opportunity to hug them, I grab it with both hands. Is that even creepy at all? I don’t know. I just hope hugging them almost always won’t drive them away from me :) as creepy as it may sound [or look like] :)
For what it’s worth, I know this is starting to be a lot like love and family. Yes, I think this is the start of it.
I then wish for no more reshuffling. I can only be so sure that I still long for better friendship and more laughter. I wish for years of deeply rooted friendship with them, with the three individuals that you now see.
Today is July 14, 2012. This is Romi, this is Shierline, and this is Clang.
Meet some of the first, of the greatest happenings in my medical school life.
With love, to infinity and beyond.
It’s a very unusual night. I feel all the drama in the world.
I’m just about to explode ‘cause of all the happiness and contentment that I have in my heart now. But can I mention that bit of unexplainable emotion, too? This one, I don’t know how it’s called.
I miss my old 2nd family (UPMBIO12). I really do.
But what’s really worth mentioning though is that in a little over a month, I already terribly miss some — SOME, in my new 2nd family even though we were together some hours ago.
This can’t change. I hope I don’t get to drive them away. I hope.
Matt Lyon (United Kingdom) via Curioos
20. Cam’s hair gets shorter every season.
19. Angela and Hodgins.
C: Camille Saroyan = ‘cause she has the best facial expressions, the best and cool boss at the end of the day.
C: Camille Saroyan, cause I love her expressions, her hair, her reactions. And it’s not easy to lead a lab.